Buri muntu wese ku isi, buri joro agira inzozi zivanzemo imbi n’inziza, zimwe turazibuka izindi ntituzibuke kuko umuntu arota ibintu byinshi cyane mu ijoro. Hari n’igihe hashobora gucya ugasanga nta kintu na kimwe wibuka warose ariko ntibivuze ko utaba warose.
Zimwe mu nzozi tugira ariko harizo umuntu asobanukirwa byoroshye ariko hari n’izindi zisigara ari amayobera ndetse ugasanga ari inzozi zihuriweho n’abantu benshi. Wari warota ugirana ibihe byiza n’umuntu bikagera naho muryamana ariko byose bikaba utamuzi ndetse ntanaho wigeze umubona? Ndabizi ibi byakubayeho ndetse ushobora kuba nanubu uwo muntu ukimushakisha ukaba waramubuze kuko aza rimwe gusa ntiwongere kumubona. Niba waribajije iki kibazo ugiye gusubizwa hano.
Ubushakashatsi bunyuranye bwagiye bugaragaza ko abantu benshi ku isi barota bakorana imibonano mpuzabitsina n’abantu batazi, ibi ndetse bikunda kuba cyane ku bantu bari hagati y’imyaka 20 na 30. kurota ukora imibonano mpuzabitsina kabone niyo waba ari umuntu uzi, byo burya rimwe na rimwe bishobora guterwa nuko muriyo minsi ubyifuza ariko ntubone uburyo bwo kubikora, ariko nanone siko burigihe bisobanura ko ukeneye gukora imibonano.
Imibonano mpuzabitsina mu nzozi burya ngo ni ikimenyetso cyerekana ko hari ibintu ukeneye ariko utarageraho, ibi biza mu ishusho y’imibonano mpuzabitsina kuko ngo burya iyo uyikoze uba wumva unezerewe cyane ndetse n’ubuzima bukagenda neza, uku kuba hari ibintu wifuza mu buzima utarageraho rero biba bikwereka ko uramutse ubigezeho wagira umunezero nkuwo umuntu agira iyo amaze gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina abyishimiye.
Ikindi burya umenye ko uburyo uryamamo nabwo bushobora gutuma urota uri gusambana, niba ukunda kuryama wubitse inda, nta kabuza izi nzozi ushobora kuzigira.
Kuryamana n’umuntu utazi ni ibiki byo? Bamwe bavuga ko kuryamana n’umuntu utazi nta kabuza uba ukeneye gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, abandi bakavuga ko uba ukeneye gushaka umuntu mushya muryamana. Ariko abahanga benshi bahuriza ku kuba nurota usambana n’umuntu utazi ntaho bihuriye n’imibonano mpuzabitsina ahubwo bisobanura ko ukeneye guhura n’abantu bashya mubuzima bwawe bakaguha ibitekerezo bishya bishobora kuguteza imbere. Ibi kandi bishobora gusobanura ubuzima bushya ukeneye kwinjiramo cyane cyane bw’iterambere kurusha ubwo wari usanzwemo. Nuramuka urose uryamanye nuwo utazi kandi nta gatekerezo k’imibonano wifitemo uzamenye ko hari abantu bashya mugomba kumenyana bakakungura ibintu bishya.
Bisobanuye iki kurota uryamanye nuwo mwahoze mukundana (ex): niba nawe bikubaho ntiwihebe kuko nturi wenyine, ndetse ntanubwo ari agashya kuko burya abantu benshi barota basambana nabo bahoze bakunda kurusha uko barota babikorana nabo babana cyangwa bakundana uyu munsi. Ibi rero bisobanura ko ukumbuye uwo mwahoze mukundana cyangwa se ukeneye gusubirana nawe, gusa si burigihe aricyo bisobanuye. Uwo muntu mwahoze mukundana niba bitaragenze neza mugatandukana muburyo bubi, izi nzozi zisobanura ko ukeneye gukira ibikomere ukamwibagirwa burundu.
Bisobanuye iki kurota ukorana imibonano nuwo mukundana cyangwa uwo mubana? Mu bushakashatsi abantu bagera kuri 40% byagaragaye ko barota bakorana imibonano nabo bakundana cyangwa nabo babana, ibi nubwo biba kuri benshi ariko ngo ntabwo biba biryoshye nkiyo umuntu arose abikorana nuwo bahoze bakundana. Gusa kurota izi nzozi byo ntaho bihuriye n’imibonano mpuzabitsina ahubwo bisobanuye ko uwo muntu muhurira muri byinshi mu buzima bwa buri munsi ndetse n’ikimenyetso cy’uko umubano wanyu uhagaze neza.
Ariko se mu by’ukuri inzozi z’imibonano mpuzabitsina ubundi zirasanzwe? Nubwo abantu bose batazigira ku kigero kingana ariko kurota ibijyanye n’imibonano mpuzabitsina n’inzozi zisanzwe ndetse ntukwiye no kugira impungenge. Ibi nukubera ko abantu bagera kuri 95% by’abakorewe ubushakashatsi bagaragaje ko byibuze bagize izo nzozi byibuze rimwe mu buzima bwabo, ikindi ugomba kumenya nuko izi nzozi ziza ku mwanya wa kabiri muzikunda kwibasira benshi. Kurota ibijyanye n’imibonano singombwa ko burigihe uba uri kuyikora, ahubwo ushobora kurota uri gutereta umuntu runaka, kumusoma cyangwa se muri murukundo by’indani, ariko hari naho bigera ukarota muryamanye koko.
Ni gute wahagarika kurota inzozi zigendanye n’ubusambanyi? Niba ujya uzirota kenshi ariko ukumva zikubangamiye hari bimwe mubyo wakora zigahagarara. Bitewe nicyo wabonye kigutera kuzirota urahitamo icyo wakora, niba koko ukeneye guhura n’abantu bashya urabishyiramo imbaraga bakwereke iyo nzira yo kugera ku bishya, niba haribyo wumva utaruzuza mu buzima bwawe bishakishe ubikore utunganirwe.
Ushobora kuba wifuza gukora imibonano akenshi niba bikubaho utarashaka ukaba nta n’umukunzi ufite cyangwa undi muntu mwabikorana, icyusabwa nawe uracyumva, shaka umukunzi kuburyo bizabageza no ku kubaka urugo. Ariko kandi bitewe nuko izi nzozi zikunda no kwibasira abantu cyane cyane bafashwe ku ngufu bakiri bato, izi ntiziba ari inzozi gusa ahubwo haba harimo n’ihungabana, niba nawe uri umwe muri aba ukeneye kugana abaganga babihuguriwe bakakugira inama cyangwa se bakakuganiriza kuburyo wabikira.
