Mu by’ukuri wowe ubona ariki gituma utagira umukunzi? Dore icyo wakora ukamubona bitakugoye.

Ugendeye kuri siyansi, cyangwa se ukagendera ku bitekerezo bya benshi mu batuye isi, bakubwira ko urukundo aricyo kintu cya mbere cyiza yaba mu mitekerereze ya muntu, mu mibereho, mu buzima busanzwe ndetse no mu myemerere, ni muri urwo rwego burya urukundo bigoranye kugira ikindi kintu ubigereranya.

Icyakora nubwo aruko biri, abandi bemeza ko kubona urukundo rwa nyarwo aricyo kintu kigoye kurusha ibindi. Akenshi umuntu mukundana ndetse mugakomezanya ubuzima siwe muntu uba warakuze utekereza cyangwa wiyumvamo. Muri macye dore ibintu byagufasha kubona umukunzi bitakugoye na gato.

  • Burya ntukibwire ko urukundo rwa nyarwo ugenda urushakisha, ahubwo rurakwizanira.

Umwalimu muri kaminuza ya Washington witwa Pepper Schwartz asanzwe ari inzobere mu mibanire y’abantu, uyu avuga ko urukundo burya ari nk’akazi kuko ngo akazi nako ntikabonwa n’umuntu ugashakisha kurusha abandi ahubwo hari nigihe kakugwirira utari ugakeneye cyane mugihe wawundi wirirwa ashakisha ashobora kumara igihe kinini ntacyo arageraho. Avuga ko bishoboka ko washakisha uwo mukundana kubw’amahirwe ukamubona ariko ngo ni gacye cyane biba. Yemeza ko umuntu w’ukuri mukundana ndetse mukaba mwazanabana ngo muhura by’impanuka ntanumwe wabitekerezaga. Akangurira abantu bose kudateshwa umutwe no gushaka umukunzi w’ukuri kuko isaha n’isaha akwizanira utabitekerezaga.

  • Niba ushaka umukunzi ujye ukunda kujya ahari abantu bakunda ibyo nawe ukunda cyane

Singombwa kujya aho abandi bantu bashaka ko ujya, ahubwo ukwiye kujya ahahurira abantu benshi ariko bakunda ibyo nawe ukunda. Prof Pepper avuga ko ibi bikorohera iyo ukora ibyo ukunda kuko ninabwo ubona abakunda ibyo ukunda. Nujya mu ishyaka rya politiki burya uzaba ufite amahirwe yo kuhahurira nabo mufite ibyiyumviro bimwe, nujya mu mikino runaka nabwo nuko bizamera, bishobora no kurangira uhakuye urukundo.

  • Niba ushaka urukundo rw’ukuri, ntugakunde kubana n’abakunda kuryoshya.

Ibi nukubera ko burya umuntu mubana mu buzima bwo kuryoshya usanga nta gahunda y’igihe kirekire iba ihari, ahubwo nibyiza kugendana n’umuntu mupanga imishinga y’igihe kirekire. Ibi bituma no mu bihe bibi wa muntu aba ahari, mu gihe wawundi wikundira kuryoshya aba yifuza kubaho mu buzima buryoshye gusa byagera aho rukomeye akigira ahandi. Ukwiye kwibanda ku muntu uhora ashaka ibitekerezo bishya muri wowe ndetse nawe akabiguha, naho wawundi ukoza ibirenge mumeze neza byakomera akagucira mu maso biba bigoranye ko yazavamo urukundo rw’ukuri.

  • Ukwiye kujya ubaho ugaragaraza umunezero ku maso

Ushobora kuba udafite umukunzi atari uko yabuze, ahubwo ahanini bituruka ku myitwarire yawe ya buri munsi. Wowe ubwawe niba uhorana umunabi, ushobora kugira uruhare mu gutuma ntanumwe utekereza no kukwikoza. Ukwiye kumenya ko umunezero ubwawo ukurura abantu benshi (Happy people attract people). Abantu nibakubona uhora ukeye ku maso burya nabo bifuza kukuba iruhande bakagusobanukirwa kuko ntanumwe uba ukwishisha.

Niba uhorana umunabi, nta kizere wigirira wowe ubwawe, cyangwa burigihe ugahora ugaragaza ko ntakiza cyaturuka mu bantu, uba uri kwiyicira amahirwe yo kubona umukunzi ugukwiye. Niba urangwa niyi myitwarire ukwiye kureba muganga akakugira inama, ukwiye kujya ukora imyitozo ngororamubiri ukagabanya kwiheba ndetse ugahindura imirire kuko nayo yabigiramo uruhare.

[kwamamaza]

Niba kandi ugira isoni zo kwegera umuntu ngo mutangire ikiganiro, gerageza uzigabanye, kuganira na bagenzi bawe, gusoma ibitabo, gusura imbuga za internet nka ”www.pamakiopress.rw” ni bimwe mu bishobora kugufasha kumenya uko wakwitwara ngo ukosore imyitwarire yawe ya buri munsi.

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